Ten Reasons
by hazelle
Summary: Ten Reasons Why Clark Kent Shouldn't Be So Freakishly Tall. Chlark fluffy oneshot. Chloe muses on Clark’s height.


**I really needed to write some fluff after my last fic so here it is. Personally, I have nothing against tall people, being tall myself. And I've found short people to be pretty awesome too. :P**

**Thanks to htbthomas for beta-ing! **

**Ten Reasons Why Clark Kent Shouldn't Be So Freakishly Tall**

"I wish you were shorter."

Clark shot Chloe a look that plainly told her he was concerned for her sanity. One does not simply blurt out random wishes in the middle of a perfectly normal conversation about the latest meteor freak.

"Beg your pardon?" Clark said, just to check he'd heard correctly. His hearing had always been phenomenal but when talking to Chloe, all bets were off.

"I wish you were shorter," Chloe said promptly, with exaggerated eye-rolling at having to repeat herself.

"Why's that?" Clark asked cautiously.

"Well, for a start, I spend most of the day looking up your nose," she replied in a matter-of-fact way, as if commenting on the weather.

Clark scowled, wrinkling said nose. "Stop looking at my nose!"

"I said _UP_ your nose, not _AT_ it. There is a difference," Chloe told him smartly.

"Either way, I'd rather you didn't," Clark responded. He suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.

"It's annoying," Chloe continued, oblivious. "No one should be allowed to be that freakishly tall."

"Gee, thanks."

Chloe ignored him. "How tall are you, anyway?"

"6'3."

Chloe whistled. "That's a complete foot taller than me! That's not fair!"

"Is it my fault that you're freakishly short?" Clark shot back and received a whack on his arm. "Ok, ok, you're not _freakishly_ short. Just short," he dodged the next blow and laughed.

"Shut up and shrink," Chloe ordered.

"So I should shrink just because you say so?"

"That would be nice of you, thanks."

"You know I would if it were possible," Clark said seriously, complete with a charming smile.

"Don't patronise me, Kent."

"Would I?" The charming smile stretched into a grin.

"Yes," Chloe replied, "Alright, I'll give you ten good reasons why you should be shorter."

"Lucky me," Clark waited expectantly. "Come on then, tell me your reasons?"

"I need time to think. I'll write them down and give you them by Monday."

"I'll work on shrinking over the weekend, then," Clark promised.

Chloe threw a pen at him and it bounced off the top of his head, making him stagger.

"Case in point. Now you see, if you'd been shorter, that wouldn't have hit you."

---

On Monday morning Clark was unsurprised by the greeting he received from Chloe. It involved positioning him against the height chart next to the door in the Torch, a calculating stare and then a disappointed sigh as she found him to be the same height as he was on Friday. Then she gave him a note, detailing, as promised, all ten points why he should be shorter. Or, as Chloe had entitled the note, 'Ten Reasons Why Clark Kent Shouldn't Be So Freakishly Tall.'

Clark immediately set to work reading and annotating the note, stowing it away in his bag for his first class, then stealing glances at it when the teacher wasn't looking, with Chloe's help of course. Frequently they found themselves stuffing their fists in their mouths to suppress the onset of giggles, and both were surprised that Mrs. Heather hadn't busted them yet. The note went something like this:

_1) I can see up your nose - not pleasant. Just out of interest, when was the last time you cleaned up there? _**Chloe! That's none of your business!**

_2) You're always banging your head on doorframes. It must be how your brains got addled. _**Hey! **_What other explanation is there for the Jekyll and Hyde thing you got going? And don't you dare scowl at me, Mister!_

_3) You won't fit in my Volkswagen Beetle. _**Chloe, you don't have a Volkswagen Beetle.** _Yet._

_4) You have a front seat view of down my top. And Lana's too, for that matter. _**I wouldn't look down your top! **_What about- _**Lana's either! **_Ok, ok, don't have a stroke, I'm just checking._

_5) Pete's jealous. _**Well, I knew that already.**

_6) You must get cold feet. _**How exactly does my height relate to the temperature of my feet? **_You're too long for your bed. _**Ah. Good point.**

_7) I have to get up really early. _**Huh?**_ To wash my hair every morning. _**Again, huh? **_You can see right down on the top of my head where it gets greasy. _**Oh, nice. Though I am glad I'm keeping you clean. **

_8) You see stuff before I do. I have to be the first in the know. _**I knew that already, too. Mad editor. **_Lazy worker. _**Short stuff. **_Psychopathic stalker. _**I am not a stalker! **_Are too! _**Am not! **_Are too!_

_9) You're bigger – i.e., you need bigger clothes – i.e., your demand for flannel will be so great that the cotton trade will become big business, the Luthors will buy it up and become so rich they'll rule the world and sell all us Smallvillians into slavery. _**Chloe, you're really reaching with that one. **_Actually, Pete thought of most of it._

_10) I'll have to stand on a chair to kiss you. _**What?**

At that moment Mrs. Heather finally noticed what they were up to and swiftly confiscated the paper. Chloe and Clark looked up at her guiltily. The teacher looked at the note, pursed her lips and decided not to read it out to the class after all. "Mr. Kent, Miss. Sullivan, detention in the Physics Lab." With that she gave them back the note and moved away, her back shaking with the effort not to laugh.

---

Chloe groaned and took a seat on the stool nearest to the door, Clark following suit. They hadn't had a chance to talk since being caught red handed by Mrs. Heather, and things had been decidedly tense, unresolved and generally awkward since.

They feigned interest as Mr. Thompson gave them a lecture on appropriate class behaviour, which, unfortunately, did not include passing notes, then the teacher hastily left to tell some kids off for making a racket in the hallway.

Clark shuffled his stool closer to Chloe, and as soon as the door had closed behind him, shot Chloe a mischievous grin. "You know, a stool would work just as well as a chair…"

**Fin**

**Ahh. Cheesy fluff, how I've missed it. Please review. :D**


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